Staying Married is the Hardest Part
A Memoir of Passion, Secrets, and Sacrifice
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Author(s)
Bonnie Comfort
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| Publisher | She Writes Press |
| Publication | Jun 17, 2025 |
| Format | Paperback/Softback |
| ISBN | 978-1647429447 |
| Pages | 312 |
| Dimensions | 5.5 x 8.5 x 1 in |
| Age | Adult 18+ |
| Price | $13.03 |
Staying Married is the Hardest Part
A Memoir of Passion, Secrets, and Sacrifice
A contemporary memoir by a psychologist helping couples save their marriages while sexual conflict with her screenwriter husband threatens to destroy her own.
For fans of Lori Gottlieb's Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and Belle Burden’s Strangers: A Marriage Memoir.
Can a loving relationship endure career setbacks, infidelities, and mismatched sexual desires? This is the question psychologist Bonnie Comfort grapples with as she navigates her unpredictable thirty-year marriage to Hollywood screenwriter Bob, while she provides marital therapy to others.
Bob is affectionate, brilliant, and hilarious—but his sexual desires are incompatible with Bonnie's. Despite her misgivings, she indulges his kinks, which often include photographing her in lingerie. Their Hollywood life is exciting, but eventually Bob's growing career frustrations lead to his complete sexual shutdown. Tensions rise, and Bob suggests Bonnie have discreet affairs and not tell him. She does just that—but when she confesses her infidelities five years later, his sexual demands become more extreme. When she complies, Bonnie feels shame; when she refuses, as she increasingly does, their fights threaten to tear their marriage apart.
Bonnie understands the rhythm of disconnection and repair that is common in love relationships. With honesty and vulnerability, she recounts the highs and lows of her own marriage, which sadly ends with Bob's death. As she grieves, Bonnie reflects on her role in their marital struggles and offers profound insights from personal and professional experience. Her story lays bare the complexities of love, the ongoing challenges women face in intimate relationships, and how even difficult marriages can find a way to thrive.
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Author
Bonnie Comfort
Dr. Bonnie Comfort has been a practicing psychologist for 30 years. She graduated from The Chicago School at Los Angeles and is licensed in California and Oregon. Her novel, Denial, a psychological thriller from Simon & Schuster, was published in 8 countries and translated into 5 languages. Her current memoir, Staying Married is the Hardest Part, is an intimate and complex portrayal of her compelling marriage. As an expert on relationships, she’s done many podcasts and personal appearances to discuss issues of love, marriage and sexuality. She lives in Portland, OR and is a regular contributor to Psychology Today. Her Substack title is “Small Comforts: notes on love and other vulnerabilities.”