Not So Sorry

Not So Sorryicon

Abusers, False Apologies, and the Limits of Forgiveness

by Kaya Oakes

Publisher
Broadleaf Books
Publication
Jul 30, 2024
Format
Hardback
Illustrated
No
Price
28.99
Dimensions
6.25 x 9.25 in
ISBN
9781506486963
Pages
214
Age
Adult 18+
Category
Self-HelpGeneral NonfictionChristian Living

Rights Sold

LanguageEnglish AudioCountryWorldwideAgent-BuyerTantor Media

Description

It's time for a nuanced discussion about forgiveness.

From religious communities to therapeutic spaces, the importance of forgiving those who've wronged us is often enshrined as an unqualified good. But what about horrifying cases of abuse, predatory behavior, or systemic wrong? Too often, when predators or abusers are exposed, the chorus comes immediately: "What about forgiveness?" In these cases, forgiveness places the onus on victims, diminishes real hurt and anger, lets perpetrators off the hook, and prevents justice from being done.

In Not So Sorry, journalist and culture critic Kaya Oakes tackles these questions with intelligence, nuance, and a bit of righteous anger. Ranging effortlessly from Christian theology and world history to psychology and pop culture, Oakes takes us on a whirlwind tour of the many abuses of the concept of forgiveness, including the abuse scandals of the Catholic church, the outing of high-profile abusers like Larry Nassar, and white America's obsession with false narratives of marginalized peoples granting forgiveness to oppressors. Ultimately, Oakes dares us to ask the necessary question: Is it ever better not to forgive?

Awards & Endorsements

Michael J. O'Loughlin, author of Hidden Mercy: AIDS, Catholics, and the Untold Stories of Compassion in the Face of Fear
"In Not So Sorry, Kaya Oakes presents a thoughtful meditation on one of Jesus's most challenging commandments: that we forgive those who have wronged us. With compassion, curiosity, and conviction, Oakes invites us to consider the implications of forgiveness in a fraught age." 

Author(s)

Kaya Oakes

Kaya Oakes

Kaya Oakes is the author of four books, most recently including The Nones Are Alright and Radical Reinvention. Her fifth book, The Defiant Middle, is forthcoming in November of 2021. Her essays and journalism have appeared in The New Republic, Slate, Foreign Policy, The Guardian, America, Commonweal, On Being, National Catholic Reporter, Religion Dispatches, Religion News Service, Sojourners, and many other publications. She teaches nonfiction writing at the University of California, Berkeley. She has appeared on NPR, the CBC, and on many podcasts. She’s spoken and given workshops in spiritual writing and reporting at universities, worship spaces, seminaries and community centers across the United States, and was among a group of international journalists who participated in a two-week workshop at the Vatican in 2016 to study the role of religion writing in politically turbulent times. She was born and raised in Oakland, California, where she still lives.

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