A woman reflects on her relationship and the pressures of sailing a boat across thousands of miles of sea.

In her debut memoir, Russ interweaves memories of her childhood with an account of her relationship with her partner of 13 years. Brian, who was initially just a friend, had everything that the author coveted and did not yet have herself: confidence, sureness, and capability. When they transitioned to a romantic relationship, Russ leaned heavily on Brian’s affirmations and physical presence, and when he proposed both marriage and a new life on a sailing vessel, the author couldn’t help but agree. But something inside her constantly pulled her back, just a little bit—a desire to stay grounded, to stand up for her own wants, and to find out what those wants even were. The author needed to know who she was apart from her marriage to Brian and their nomadic life on the waves. She was also guarding a guilty secret: “I wanted to tell him I didn’t deserve him, and I probably never had.” As Russ recalls arguments, friendships, and wonder-filled encounters with marine life and people around the world, she simultaneously chronicles her gradual but steady buckling under her own whirlpool of thoughts. In this telling—the pace of the narrative is measured and slow—the author always seems to know the truth behind her silences and hesitations, and the decisions she felt compelled to make but ultimately regretted. As Russ continues to unpack the dilemmas that carried on despite her self-awareness, readers may grow frustrated by her lack of action or attempts to change. Still, the memoir is a moving testament to self-empathy during periods of stagnation and seeming hopelessness—Russ reassures readers that there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel, one that the author, with no lack of struggle, reaches with a clarity and confidence of her own.

A memoir that looks upon the self’s journey with tender attention and generous care.

With breathtaking honesty and extraordinary grace, Becoming the Ocean is a memoir that reminds us healing is rarely a straight path—but it is always possible. Erin Russ transforms life's deepest heartbreaks into a story of courage, compassion, and quiet strength that will leave readers feeling both seen and inspired. Her voice is intimate, fearless, and impossible to forget. This is the kind of book you'll press into the hands of someone you love and say, "You need to read this." —Samantha Olsen

This book is an absolute masterpiece that completely wrecked me in the best way possible! Following Erin’s journey sailing across the Pacific Ocean on Delos with her husband while silently battling her own inner turmoil, unspoken grief, and past mistakes felt so real and vulnerable. The ocean descriptions are lush and breathtaking, but the emotional journey is what truly made this book unforgettable. I felt every bit of her fear, heartbreak, and eventual freedom. If you love deeply personal memoirs about messy relationships, wild adventures, and self discovery, you need to read this right now!! —Kristy

I could not put this book down! It was engagingly written and bravely honest from the very start!

I felt like the author’s strength in sharing her journey and vulnerability somehow empowered me to reflect on areas of my own soul with compassion, which ordinarily they might not think they deserve.

To have so successfully given her perspective on a shared experience without any undercurrent (no pun intended) of charge was also a huge feat.

I loved the way the story weaved in descriptions of the serenity of the ocean, of the sailing experience and of the inner expansion they can facilitate; I felt totally transported.

A brilliant read and daring description of a magical journey towards accepting all the elements of our humanity. What a beacon of book – I can’t wait for the next one! —Ric